I'm Home
by LazyLaze
Summary: Maya decides to visit Nick for the first time in seven years, and he her. Probably AJ spoilers.
1. Home

**Author's Note/Disclaimer: I thought of this one, believe it or not, while mowing the yard. This is my longest fanfic yet, and I guess you could kind of call it a sort of "sequal" to _Do You Think About Me, Ever? _and _I See You Everywhere_. Maybe. Possibly. **

**Also: I, of course, don't own Capcom, Nick Wright, or Maya Fey. **

_The first time I left you, Nick, you came back for me._

_And this time…_

_This time, I guess I have to come back for you. _

My clammy hands are clenched into nervous fists as I ride every jostle and bump of the train. My heart flutters and my stomach clenches as I realize that every inch draws me closer to that city, to that office, to that person…

I have come to realize that seven years is an utter lifetime, an aching eon, a never ending span of time that stretches on and on until you can't find the end. For seven years I have been waiting for you, anticipating you…expecting you, Nick.

But you never came.

That is why I am on this train today: because I must see you.

And I must see you soon.

Do you understand what my life has been like for the past few years? How could you _ever_ understand the questions I've asked myself, the countless tears that I've shed, the rituals I've had to keep performing just to keep myself sane? Every morning as I brushed out my hair, I would stare at my reflection in the mirror and imagine what you were doing. The last conversation I had with you was the day before you lost your badge, all those years ago. What have you done since then? Are you a business man? Are you a famous author? Do you still work in the legal field? I pictured you in a different suit each morning. One day it was crow black, the next deep green, and on rare mornings I would allow myself to remember you the way you used to be: bright cerulean suit, glimmering golden badge, your condemning index finger stretched and confident.

And always, _always_, wracking sobs would follow the apparitions of you, and as I wept and gripped my sides and bent in half with anguish, I couldn't stop the memories, they absolutely flooded me as my cold tears splattered the wooden floor. It would take me hours to calm down and plaster a happy smile on my face. But who was the smile for? I hardly saw anyone. I lived in almost complete isolation, stuck up in the frigid Fey Manor, chanting for hours and practicing channeling techniques in utter darkness to hone my powers.

How?

How could I _not_ think of you, when I had no one to talk to, when I had absolutely _nothing_ to distract me?

And after seven endless years, after a _lifetime_ of dreaming and wondering and wishing, I'm finally going to see you today.

I shift in my chair and sigh, leaning my cheek against the cool glass of the train window. Smeary, indistinct figures fly past my eyes, and as my vision fixates on the blurry world outside, my mind churns and tosses questions at me.

_What if he's married?_

_What if he has a family now?_

_What if he doesn't want to see me?_

_Will he even recognize me? _

And I shudder to think, _will I recognize him? _

_Of _course, I snap to myself,_ of course I'll recognize him. He can't have changed that much._

But it doesn't matter, because here I am, on the train that is bound for Nick's city, and there is no way I can reverse that. My fingers clench my skirt in sudden fear. _I...I'm not even sure you're the same person I left you as. I'm certainly not the same, Nick. No…no, I am not the same girl I was seven years ago. Is that okay? Is it okay, Nick, that I don't eat hamburgers anymore, or that I don't like to hear jokes, or that I haven't watched a Steel Samurai episode since the day I left you? How will you feel about me _now_? _

My thoughts are interrupted as the train screeches to a halt. I jerk my head up and realize that there is still one stop to go until I…well, until I arrive. My stomach curls up within itself as I return my gaze to the window. I wait impatiently for the train to start back up, my sweating fingers twisting as I try to focus my full attention on a tree outside.

_Don't think about Nick; don't think about him, just think about the tree…the tree…_

_The tree that looks like Charley._

_Have you been taking care of Charley, Nick?_

_Is Charley still around? _

_D-do you even care about him anymore? _

And as if watching a movie, a horrifying vision suddenly fills my eyes as I inhale sharply: Nick, face scarlet with rage, slamming Charley against the wall, smashing him to bits, grinding him into the ground with fury, and it is because of me, because the plant reminded him of me, and he wanted to k-kill it, to get rid of it, because it reminded him of…m-me…

_No! Don't think that way!_

But the train jolts forward, picks up speed, and then I can only make out blinding bursts of color and shape as we speed by. I scrunch down lower in my seat, nausea rolling over me in thick waves, fiddling with the beads around my neck.

_It's been seven years, but I can still feel the Magatama pressing against my throat: always cool no matter the temperature, always gleaming no matter the dust that got onto it. And I gave it to you, Nick. It was the most important thing I owned, did you know that? And I gave it to you. _

_Because you were the most imp--_

…

…

_Ah…_

_Nevermind._

I ride in silence for another quarter of an hour until I begin to recognize the streaking shapes out the window. I press my quivering fist to my mouth and try to reign in my tears, but they bubble over regardless. And then, all too soon, the train slows to a definite stop, and I rise to my shaking legs, having to brace my hand against the armrest for support, or else I feel as if I will collapse. My whole body is quaking terribly with nerves, and as I raise a hand to wipe at my flowing tears, I notice it visibly trembling. I sniff quietly and brush away my tears and try to ignore the booming, mechanical voice that echoes throughout the train. _The next stop is Kurain Village. The next stop is Kurain Village. Kurain Village is the last stop on this line. The next stop is Kurain Village. _

A shudder slides down my spine as I think, _who would want to go to Kurain? Who would ever in their right mind want to go to that_ prison_? _

And as I stumbled down the isle of the train on unsteady legs, I glanced at each passing face, guessing their story, wondering why they would want to go to such a horrid place as Kurain. And as I pass these people, I brush up against them, their arms against mine, their faces fixating on mine as I glanced up at them. A woman with long blond hair and a red dress, a little girl with a pink teddy bear clutched to her chest, an older man with a wooden cane and checkered hat, a teenage boy with headphone jammed in his ears and a scowl on his dirty face.

And then, as I make my way to the door of the train, I notice a man standing by it, an indecisive expression etched onto his features. I quickly appraise him through my blurred, teary vision. Scruffy face, dirty sweatshirt, a strong, juice like aroma wafting away from him. A dirty beanie cap is jammed over his hair, and he fiddles with it as his gaze slides from the train back to the station again and again. I wobble towards the door, and for just a moment, his gaze clicks with mine, and we stare at each other. His glance is questioning, no doubt because of my odd clothing. His eyes skate over me, but after a moment, he loses interest, opting to look past my shoulder at the available seats. I wait for a moment, then sweep past him on my way out, and instantly, the grimy man is forgotten as I step into the noisy train station.

I am so preoccupied that I don't notice him walking onto the train and taking a seat, nervously tapping his hand against the armrest. The train speeds away from me, off to Kurain Village, and I make my way down the too familiar street, ten million different emotions shooting…_exploding_ through me like fireworks.

_Nick!!_

_I get to see you, Nick!!_

_Auhhh! I can't wait!! I've missed you so much, and now I can hug you, and you can beg me to stay, and I never have to go back to Kurain 'cause you can take care of me…_

_Twenty seconds until I can see your face, Nick. _

And as I come upon the building, the office that I have dreamed about for years on end, I can only think as I fly through the doors:

_I'm home. _

_I'm home, Nick. _


	2. Lost

**Now it's Nick's turn on the train! I don't own Phoenix Wright and blah blah blah. **

The calendar says seven years.

Not that I've been counting.

My heart is punching against my chest like a drum, my eyes are flickering around the small train nervously, and my thoughts are in tangles. The train jolts me up and down, upsetting my roiling stomach further. My fingers convulse around the chilly object clutched in my fist as I take a calming breath.

It's been seven years, and I'm still afraid of her.

Of course, it's silly to be afraid of _her--_of her stretching grin, of her childish stature, of her teasing jokes, and yet…

I sit terrified.

I still don't know what pushed me to get on this train today, this train that is visiting Maya's home town, but some strange force has been driving me lately, dictating my thoughts and dreams and actions.

This train is suffocating me. I sit back in my gummy seat, squirming uncomfortably. I'm only able to think of Maya, to think of my past, and it's killing me. I rest my forehead on the headrest in front of me and close my eyes.

Remembering.

It was easy, the first few years, to throw my thoughts of Maya Fey away. It was easy to erase her image from my mind, it was surprisingly effortless to pretend she had never existed; to pretend that I'd never been a lawyer and I'd never cared for anyone but myself. I had Trucy to look after, and she occupied my every waking thought. Fatherhood exhausted me, both mentally and physically, and that cheerful, dark haired girl I used to know began to fade away. I was happy to be busy, to separate my old life from my new one.

And then Trucy grew up.

She began to ask questions, questions about the dusty law books tucked away in back of our bookcases, questions about that strange blue suit crumpled in the corner of my closet. _What did you do, Daddy, before you got me? Were you always a piano player? Why don't we ever talk about when you were a kid? _

And then, my breaking point two years ago, when she found that glowing green charm I tried to lose…when she sat down for breakfast with it cradled in her palms…_Look at this pretty charm I found in an old box, Daddy! _

I must have hurt her feelings when I ripped it from her hands, when I told her not to mess with other people's belongings, when my voice broke and I turned from her shocked face. I went to my room and shoved the Magatama into my drawer, fingers quivering as I covered it with old socks and rags, hiding it, hoping to forget that I'd seen it.

Since that day, I haven't been able to get her out of my head.

Maya Fey is haunting me.

Thoughts of her, thoughts of who she is now, they dry my mouth and tear at my chest. I suppose she's Master of Kurain, with unparallel channeling skills and a high place in the government. It's odd to think of that small girl as a powerful political figure, to think of her as a mother and a teacher. I'm sure that she's both. I turn my head and look out my window, into the empty fields surrounding this train, and see her with her children, on a picnic blanket, basking in the afternoon sun, living her life without me…content, fulfilled. Laughing that infectious laugh, with her husband's hand in hers. I hope he knows how to protect her…I hope he takes care of her…

Because I couldn't. I failed her.

I shake my head and rub my thumb against the smooth Magatama in my fist, clenching my eyes.

Why am I visiting her at Kurain Village? Why am I doing this? This isn't going to help anything. She'll turn me away. She'll lock the door in my face, like I did to her seven years ago, and this time...this time, I'll be the one on the other side, pounding the door and crying. Maya probably hates me, and I deserve it. I ignored her every phone call, her every letter, her every attempt at contacting me. One by one the ties to my old life were severed, and I thought I was satisfied. But my past will not leave me be, and here I am, tired and defeated, searching for a remedy to my guilt. Through Maya, I want forgiveness for what I've done.

Will she forgive me, though? Does anyone have that much goodness in them to forgive someone like _me_?

The train is beginning to slow, and the cottages dotting the grassy pastures are beginning to increase in number. My stomach lurches terribly as I see children outside staring at the train, their mouths gaping, their tiny acolyte outfits so familiar, so agonizing.

_It's been so long since...since I've seen this place..._

We pull into the wooden station, and I feel as if I'm going to collapse. The Magatama's sharp end bites into my palm as I make a fist and stand. A thousand memories are bursting before my eyes as I pace down the isle of the train, following the small group of tourists before me. My knuckles ache, but I grip the Magatama tighter, holding onto the only lifeline I possess, the only remnant I have left of Maya Fey.

I repeat her name, tasting it, but my tongue stumbles over the unfamiliar word. I pause, my feet halting. The doors are...they're just so _close_.

_This is finally it_. _I...I don't know if I'm ready yet...I..._

_I don't know if I can face her yet..._

I gather a deep breath, about to take the first step off the train, when suddenly I feel a stiff push from behind. I am weightless. I crash against the hard floor of the train, my elbow smacking into the ground, causing my hand to splay with pain. The Magatama flies from my fingers and clinks out of sight. As I gape with shock, clutching my throbbing elbow, someone from behind steps over me. "Move it, gramps," the young teenage boy grunts as he hops off the train. I am alone now, my face burning with embarrassment and frantic worry_. Where did that Magatama go?! _I scurry around on my stomach, scouring the dirty floor for the charm, reaching under chairs, my heart thumping with panic_. I can't show up without the Magatama...she'll never...if she knows I lost it...I can't b-believe this is happening..._

And then the doors chime.

They're closing.

I take a desperate last look under a seat, my heart sinking horribly. I rise slowly, my hands numb, my head floating as I step off the train.

It begins to chug away, and I watch it leave in silence, my mouth dry and my eyes blinking in disbelief.

After so many years of trying to lose it...it disappears when I need it the most.

I hang my head and trudge down the dirt streets, my hands stuffed in the pocket of my dirty sweatshirt, children rushing past me on their way home. The sun is setting now.

I wonder what she'll say when I tell her what has become of her most treasured possession.

I come upon the Fey Manor, my stomach clenching with worry as I tilt my head to take it in. With a heavy sigh, I lower my eyes and walk through the doors.

And, shockingly, I feel relief flood through me. Even though I'm terrified of what Maya will say...I know the waiting's over. Whether she rejects me or welcomes me with open arms, at least I will get my answer tonight.

_I've finally come back for you, Maya._


End file.
